Monday, 18 February 2008

No Judgment

It suddenly crept up on me.

One minute I was on the bus headed for my favourite bookshop and pondering on the oneness of life, when poof, my vision went funny. Oh no, don't tell me I'm about to experience a migraine! I know love is all there is right now and for always. I was going to take the bus all the way home but something told me to get off and go to the bookshop as planned.

By the time I got off the bus, I was in darkness. It was a funny kind of darkness because all I could see was shadows around me and the brightest light. I crossed over the road and entered the bookshop. I picked up a book pretending to read while I observed the display from stillness.

It felt like I was watching the passing of the clouds as they move across the sky, which I did with detachment. After the "darkness" had cleared I felt a slight twinge of headache and I let it pass with detachment. I felt my stomach go slightly queasy and I let it pass with detachment. I also tested to see if my memory was intact as I used to suffer from temporary amnesia while experiencing a migraine. I found I could still remember my favourite passages from the Bible. Within an hour it had all passed and I was fine.

Later on my way home, just as I was about to catch my final bus the driver closed the doors. I knew there had to be a reason why I had missed it. I heard a young woman weeping. She was saying something but I couldn't quite make out what she was saying as her voice sounded slurred. A passenger asked her why she'd been drinking. The woman said she'd just lost her sister and was very upset. The passenger told her she shouldn’t have been drinking and advised her to go home and sleep. She also asked the woman if she believed in God as that would help her. The woman who was weeping said she didn't believe. She said she didn't have anyone and all her family were in Poland. She came and stood next to me. I reached over and gave her a hug. She burst into tears and continued weeping while I held her. I told her I was sorry about her loss and that she would be OK, at least I knew she would be OK. I held her until our buses arrived, which did at the same time.

When I didn't judge the migraine experience, it simply passed away without any drama.

When I didn't feel any judgment towards the woman, I was able to love her at that moment.

Where there is no judgment there is only love.

Enocia

Related articles: Comfort; Non-Judgment and Faith; Formlessness, Being Like a Bee and Losing Your Mind